🚨 BREAKING: PANDA STILL ON CONFERENCE TABLE  •  NO ONE HAS CLAIMED HIM  •  SOURCES CONFIRM HE IS "VERY SOFT"  •  MEETING ROOM BOOKINGS DOWN 40% DUE TO EMOTIONAL WEIGHT  •  EXPERTS: "HE JUST WANTS A HOME"  •  PANDA HAS NOT MOVED IN DAYS (HE CANNOT MOVE)  •  🚨

Save The
Panda

He was put up for adoption at the office. Nobody took him. He is now lying face-down on a conference table, contemplating his choices.

A large plush panda lying face-down on an office conference table, surrounded by empty chairs
Nobody took me
So I live here now

👆 tap the panda for more of his inner monologue

0
seconds you have spent on this page not adopting him

Missing: A Home

Name
Panda
Species
Extremely Plush
Length
One (1) conference table
Diet
Bamboo, vibes
Last seen
Face-down, Room 4B (probably)
Temperament
Defeated but hopeful
Skills
Lying down. Expert level.
Adoption fee
$0 and your dignity

What people are saying

★★★★★
“I walked into my 9am and he was just… there. I gave the whole quarterly update to his back.”
— Someone in Accounting, probably
★★★★★
“I said I'd think about adopting him. That was three weeks ago. I can't look him in the eyes. Luckily, he can't look at me either.”
— Anonymous coward
★★★★☆
“Great listener. Never interrupts in meetings. Minus one star for taking up half the table.”
— Meeting organizer
★★★★★
“He has more presence in standup than most of the team.”
— A manager, off the record

Will you adopt him?

FAQ

Is he okay?

Physically, yes. He is stuffed. Emotionally, he has been lying face-down for an extended period of time, so you tell us.

Why is he face-down?

Have you ever been put up for adoption in front of all your coworkers and then not picked? Exactly.

Will he fit in my car?

He will fit in your car. He will fit in your heart. Mostly he will fit in your passenger seat.

What if I just walk past him?

You can. Many have. He'll still be there tomorrow. And the day after that. Lying there. On the table. Thinking about you.

Can I book the conference room?

Yes, but he's included. He does not take notes.